Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize