whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
