Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
