I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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