i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
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do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
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