so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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