That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
