Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
