I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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