Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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