She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
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I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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