u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Non-Jews are for practice
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
