For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize