Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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