Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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