i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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