i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
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If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
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So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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