Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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