Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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