Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
