i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
