Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize