What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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