Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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