If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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