you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Text me some of your sweat
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