bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
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Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
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Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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