so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
