I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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