She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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