My first STD was from a foam party
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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