Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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