ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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