Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Did you just see the Batmobile???
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
