Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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