It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
