We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
True strength comes from lack of pants
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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