cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
