I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
