If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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