I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
