OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
