What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
