I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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