I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
