Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
