Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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