I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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