I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
