I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
