He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We have so much sex to catch up on
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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