the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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