if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
