i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
