You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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