Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
