Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
